How to set goals that will actually change your life


Author and entrepreneur Lorraine Murphy shares the very specific criteria and environment for setting life goals that will get you to your “dream life”, whatever that might be like to you.

I am a big fan of saying “I really wish this was taught in schools!” on multiple life skills. However, if I was forced to put only one thing – only one thing! – on the school program, it would be the competence for setting objectives.

For many, many years, my goal setting extended to making a handful of New Years Resolutions … and those quickly fizzled out at the end of January. In 2010, I set my first simple goals for the year, and my goal setting process grew from there – to the point that it’s now a fairly comprehensive process, undertaken annually.

I’ve spent a lot of time teaching my community about goal setting – their importance, how to do it, and (of course) how to achieve those goals. I’ll walk you through creating the ideal conditions for goal setting and walk you step by step through my process.

I also have all the worksheets you need, ready to use – download your Enter your playbook, free, here.

Let’s go. . .

The criteria for an effective goal setting system:

There are many different approaches one can use to set goals – and a plethora of books, podcasts, online programs, seminars, templates, and resources that can be accessed from anywhere from nothing to thousands of dollars to find. the privilege. I’ve tried a few different ways myself, borrowing the things that worked and throwing out the ones that didn’t, and the process I’m working with now – and teaching – is the best I’ve ever had. have found. I’m picky about how I set goals for myself and I have four key criteria for this:

1. It must be simple

2. It must be fun

3. It must start right away, as you are.

4. It must release an immediate momentum

Define the conditions for setting objectives:

I believe that a lot of people forget when creating their goals to set the conditions for this particular type of thinking work.

1. Work in a new environment

A big mistake that a lot of people make when setting goals is that they sit down in their usual daily environment to do this job. They could drop the kids off at school, come home, brew a cup of tea, and sit at the dining table to plan the life of their dreams.

These everyday environments – our dining table, our living room sofa, our offices, our bedrooms – are basically wallpaper. We are in these spaces every day and don’t really see / experience them anymore.

Which is perfectly fine for day to day living, but not when we are trying to access a new part of our brain to design our future lives. It is really important when setting goals that we step back from

this everyday wallpaper and find a new, fresh and energizing place that will help us generate new perspectives on what our lives might be like. That’s why I will never set goals at home, and could instead take myself to the hotel for 24 hours. The new environment introduces new ideas, new energy and new inspiration.

2. Enter your feminine energy

Feminine energy is creative energy. It may be too easy to print out a batch of goal setting templates and get going, completing them as quickly as possible, but it comes from a place of strong male energy. Goal setting is not an entirely linear and structured process – it actually requires a lot of creativity and imagination, especially in the early stages of the process. So it makes sense that – especially for women – we should orient ourselves in our feminine energy before starting these goals.

One way to “prepare” for goal setting is to get moving before planning – I take a walk or a yoga class. I will also try to approach or in the water….

When we can step into this feminine energy, it’s almost as if we are stepping into a different level of ourselves, a different level of inspiration, creativity, clarity. If we take a masculine energy approach, we focus on the numbers, the details, the facts, and we turn away from that higher level of thinking. As women, we can access a fast track to see our goals clearly.

Prepare for your goal setting session so that you are in an optimal state to fully access this beautiful and higher orientation as well.

3. Dress for the occasion

I also suggest you dress for your goal setting session. . . even (or especially!) if you do it alone. In the past, I’ve set my goals by wearing a crappy hoodie that might contain toothpaste or Lexi’s breakfast scraps. I haven’t put on makeup and my hair (probably needing a wash) is twisted into a bun. I really didn’t feel fabulous at all.

But what I’ve been doing for the last few years is dressing for the occasion – wearing something that makes me feel good and putting an effort into my hair and makeup. The difference has been remarkable!

The reason is that I feel like I’m dressing for my future self – and, when I’m feeling good and in good shape, my mood is high. And it is from this space that I want to design my dream lifestyle.

4. Create little treats for yourself

I have to be very clear here: I am NOT saying that you have to drop hundreds or thousands of dollars on forgiving things in order to set effective goals. I say, however, that you want to treat yourself to some treats that, first of all, will dramatically increase your own pleasure and enjoyment as you set your goals and, second, remind you that you deserve great things.

When I do my planning, I allow myself to have good food. I enjoy a new blend of essential oils. I take out the bath salts. I treat myself to a tea that might cost a few dollars more per packet

than I would normally spend on tea for our household. I let myself light the beautiful candle. I do this because I want to believe that I am worthy of things. . . and worthy of my dream lifestyle.

5. Plan over time to plan

If I had got my hands on your calendar, I would recommend half a day to a full day of planning. This is to give you time to go through the whole process with space and breaks. And I would also – ideally – ask you to do this planning in one block so that you can follow the process as I designed it.

Having said that, something is better than nothing. I know that it will not be possible for everyone to devote a whole day or even a half day to the task. There are careers, families and social lives to be circumvented.

So if you need to, break the process down into pieces and be very, very intentional to make each of these opportunities happen. Reserve the time in your agenda in advance. Remember, you are worth this time. You are worth the life you dream of!

This is an edited clip from Lorraine Murphy’s Step Into You, available now in stores and online. here.

Lorraine Murphy is a former Sydney-based public relations professional, entrepreneur, four-time author and motivational speaker. You can find it online here, and follow her on Instagram here.

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